The New Me

The past few weeks have really been a turning point for me. I was so stressed and just so broken that I could barely remember what I was doing this for. Everything really turned around the beginning of last week. After a talk with my parents, some really great encouraging friends, and a little support from my teacher, I felt I was coming around. After the last little talk with my teacher, I began walking toward my car. At this point, it began to rain. It was the kind of rain that washed away all the bad things and gave me time to think. This was the point when I decided that it was me that was tearing myself down. From that point on, I feel like I am a different person. Well, actually, it's just me coming back from a huge funk. I have been so much more positive, which has helped my stress level tremendously! God really has a way of bringing you back from your breaking point. I realized this past Sunday that it has really just been a lack of faith and trust on my part. I have not had enough faith and trust in what God is doing in my life. I was trying so hard to do it all on my own. Just so everyone knows out there, THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE. Knowing that God is in control of my life and the day-to-day aspects of it is so refreshing. I can just focus on doing what He wants me to do and praising Him for it. God really is so good for showing this to me!

Meanwhile, I have done quite a few shifts at MD Anderson. It's pretty awesome learning how to be a nurse. It is so much better than my nursing assistant days. I am working on the Neuro/Rehab floor. I really enjoy it. I have had some amazing patients. It is so different for me because I have never really been around cancer patients in the hospital before. It is such an eye opening experience. I have to constantly remind myself that some of the actions of the patients are not a reflection of the patient himself, but rather the effect that the cancer is having on the patient. I am realizing how hard it can be for the patient to not be able to control his or her own body. Sometimes the cancer just takes over parts of the body. It is also making me aware that this is extremely difficult for the patient's family as well. It is actually very refreshing to hear more families get involved with care and ask more questions about the type of care their loved one is being given. I commend them for that.

Overall, I am learning so much in such a short amount of time. I praise God for every day that I make it through. I have 3 rough weeks left. Then, it's off to PA to see Brett's side of the family! I CANNOT WAIT! I am in such need of sun, fun, relaxation, and family! 3 weeks!!!!!!!